Learning How to Dance in the Rain
by TheNewIdea
Summary: With Peter working at the brewery and the kids in school it leaves Lois and Brian some time for bonding. Little do they know how close they will get when Brian is bestowed a life-changing gift, a gift that may have started out as a curse but turned into a blessing. This is an independent story. Rated T for some strong language, dark humor, subjects involving faith.
1. Chapter 1

Learning How to Dance in the Rain

Peter and the kids had just left for the day, leaving Lois and Brian alone in the house for what would have been the umpteenth time. Every day it was relatively the same. Lois would clean around the house and Brian would attempt to write something for the local newspaper. In truth most of Brian's time was spent arguing with Jesse DuBois, his editor, who was the exact opposite of Brian in every possible way, most notably political leanings and religious affiliation. Unfortunately, Jesse was one of those Christians who interpreted the figurative parts of the Bible as being completely literal, he was also a fan of the Old Testament, which isn't a bad thing to be, but if you take into account the fact that he ignores the other half of the book, which is overtly more positive in terms of outlook, conflict is ultimately inevitable.

On this particular day, after a good two hours of getting absolutely nowhere in terms of his article or the editor, Brian entered the kitchen looking for a stiff drink. Lois meanwhile, was busy washing dishes.

"You know you could help me once in a while" Lois said passive aggressively, immediately causing Brian to sigh guiltily and make his way to the sink.

"I'm sorry Lois" Brian apologized, "I just got a lot on my mind right now. Jesse keeps wanting me to write blatant lies. He wants scandals. I want reality. We're on opposite ends of the universe."

Lois shrugged indifferently, she liked to think that she understood what Brian was dealing with but the simple truth was that it just wasn't the case. As she handed plates for Brian to dry, she thought about what it was he could've been if he had decided to be independent. She wondered, for a second, if they had a chance of making a relationship work, for Peter wasn't exactly the best when it came to fatherhood, but he had it where it counted.

"What are you thinking?" Brian asked curiously, a hint of worry in his voice as he raised his ears, his body matching his voice for a moment.

Lois smiled as if it was nothing, secretly admiring the way that Brian's ears had a mind of their own when it came to expressing emotions. It was one of the many things that she loved about the dog and the one thing that never seemed to change.

"Why do you do that?" Lois answered with a laugh, answering a question with a question and also diverting attention from herself to Brian in an effort to keep comfortable conversation going.

Brian raised his eyebrows curiously, "What are you talking about? I'm a doing something funny? Because if so I'll gladly keep doing it to see that smile."

Lois laughed again, causing Brian to laugh. When the laughter subsided they casually put up the dishes after which Lois went into the living room to start vacuuming. Brian, Lois having gotten him in the spring cleaning mood despite the fact that it was well into fall, followed her to see about dust the shelves and sweeping the stairs.

"What's with you today?" Lois said to Brian, who was sweeping the stairs, after she turned off the vacuum, having finished her work for the time being. "You're never this helpful around here. Why usually you're off by yourself, doing whatever it is that you do-"

Brian laughed, "it's better than doing nothing Lois" he replied, "Besides, it's not fair to you that you should get to clean the whole house by yourself. You need some time to just be Lois, not the housewife."

Lois raised her eyebrows suspiciously, for Brian was obviously getting into more uncomfortable territory.

"Can we please talk about something else?" Lois pleaded, "I really don't think that-"

Brian rolled his eyes for it seemed that whenever he brought up the subject of her relaxing for the sake of herself she always assumed that it involved him in some way. He couldn't help but feel betrayed, to say that he was insulted was a bit of an understatement.

"Then we won't speak" Brian stated firmly, "If you don't let up you're going to hurt yourself Lois. And I'll be damned if you get hurt while I'm here, you're too important to me for that."

"And just how important am I Brian?" Lois pressed, her eyes temporarily becoming cold and icy.

Brian gave a coy smile and made himself comfortable on the stair by lying down on it, for the moment reminding himself that he was but a dog and that Lois, to a certain extent, was his master.

"I'd take a bullet for you" Brian replied, "I can say the same for your entire family."

Lois nodded, "You say that as if you don't belong here" she pointed out, "Is something wrong?"

Brian shook his head in disagreement, the only thing that was wrong was the fact that Lois was working too hard. Brian slowly made his way down the stairs, when he hit the living room he stood up properly and walked towards the front door. Reaching for his keys to his Prius Brian stopped himself, without even so much as thinking he turned around and threw the keys towards Lois and gestured towards the door.

"Get out of here" Brian said in an almost barking, demanding tone, "I don't want to see you until Peter gets home."

Lois rolled her eyes in protest, but before she could anything further Brian stopped her.

"Lois so help me if you don't get your ass out of here I'll force you out" Brian continued, "And that's a promise. I refuse to see you waste your life stuck in this house."

"What about you?" Lois replied in one final act of protest, "Don't you need the car?"

Brian groaned annoyingly, he was secretly hating himself for what he was doing but Lois it seemed had given him no choice.

"I'll manage. I was close to quitting anyway. Jesse's too hotheaded for my liking. " Brian demanded, "It's not like I had anywhere to go anyway. I haven't had a girlfriend in, what seems forever. I don't get out as much as I used to. I'm slowing down Lois, but just because I'm slowing down doesn't mean you shouldn't, you've got your whole life ahead of you still. There's that and-"

Brian stopped himself, as if continuing with his statement would make whatever circumstance it was a certainty.

"And what Brian?" Lois asked

"Just take the car Lois" Brian repeated softly, "Please if nothing else, do it for me."

Lois, who could see no point in arguing with him any further, walked towards the door, keys in hand. When she got to Brian she gave a gentle smile and a kiss on the forehead. Brian only allowed himself to breathe, in his head he was thinking of all the things he wanted to do in this situation, things that his heart absolutely refused for Peter's sake. Lois opened the door and got in the Prius, she backed out of the driveway and drove down the street heading towards the mall, the only place she knew she could go on a whim. As soon as the car was out of sight Brian closed the door and immediately resigned himself to housekeeper.

For the next two and a half hours Brian swept and vacuumed floors, folded laundry, cleaned the bathroom, cleaned all the bedrooms but the master. By the time he was done, not only was the house virtually spotless, but Brian was on the verge of collapse and with a new-found respect for housewives.

"That'll do Brian" Brian said to himself as his knees officially gave out, his body resting on the couch, "That'll do."

Brian immediately felt dizzy, for a moment everything was blurry, as if he were stuck in a grey haze. He waited for it to subside, for when this usually happened it only lasted for a few seconds. The haziness persisted, in fact, now not only did it persist, it got progressively worse. Brian, in response to this, reached for the nearest phone. He was off by an inch of reaching the house phone, which was on the coffee table that Lois recently got to liven up the living room. After hitting the small lamp on the table five times, knocking over a meager stack of magazines and the surface of the table itself, Brian finally got his hands on the phone. He strained for the correct numbers, frantically he called the only number he could think of.

Hartman's secretary, Mrs. Bead, an elderly woman well in her 70's, answered the phone. Her voice was a little gritty, raspy and hard to understand at times, this was mostly due to years of smoking.

"Quahog General" Bead began, "What the hell do you want?"

Brian huffed annoyingly, for he absolutely hated Bead, in fact, he was 95% sure that Hartman only hired her as a favor to his mother but at this point Brian had no options.

"Get me Hartman" Brian said sternly, too scared to bother with manners.

Bead, at hearing Brian's voice, immediately became hostile.

"Oh it's you again!" Bead replied, "This is a hospital not a veterinarian! Hartman doesn't serve _your kind_ here!"

Brian silently growled to himself, for Bead was one of those old people stuck in the 1940's Deep South, a firm believer in Jim Crow Laws that she now transferred to everything, including animals. He didn't see how a woman could be so heartless and cruel, but then he figured with Bead's health as it was, it wouldn't matter for much longer anyway.

"I know ma'am" Brian continued, trying to be as nice as humanly possible, "And normally I wouldn't have called but I panicked. Please, get Hartman on the phone right away, it's an emergency."

"I told you the doctor's busy!" Bead screamed, "Now kindly listen to your betters. Don't bother calling here again!"

Hartman picked up the phone, silencing Bead.

"I'm terribly sorry about that sir" Hartman said apologetically, going solely on what he heard when he entered the room and having no idea as to who he was speaking to, "She's a little unorthodox for my tastes. How can I help you?"

Brian let out a sigh of relief as his eyes continued to flux in various degrees of slight haziness and total darkness.

"It's happening Doc" Brian said slowly and fearfully, "It's finally happening."

Hartman, recognizing Brian's voice, immediately moved for his coat and hat. From Brian's side of the phone, Hartman could be heard talking to one of his subordinates to proceed with any and all surgeries without him, to cancel all other appointments and to call his mother.

"I'll be over faster than you can blink Brian" Hartman answered, "Don't worry. We'll get this sorted out."

Hartman hung up the phone at his desk and made his way to his car. Brian meanwhile, could only fiddle with the house phone in his hands, seeing no point in trying to hang up it properly or risk breaking something.

Ten seconds later, the phone rang again, answering it Brian hoped against hope that it was Lois so that he could explain everything before Hartman arrived. Sadly, it was not Lois, but someone much worse, Jesse DuBois.

"What the hell is this Griffin?" DuBois began, less than pleased, "You told me no more political investigations. No more religious bashing-"

Brian, who had had enough bad news for one day, was not about to take bullshit from a man like DuBois, who despite believing in Christ, was perhaps the worst model possible.

"Why don't you shut the fuck up?" Brian said, increasingly annoyed with DuBois, "It's because of people like you that I'm an atheist."

DuBois laughed pitifully, "Thou shalt not speak the Lord's name in vain Brian" he replied smugly

"Don't quote Scripture to me asshole" Brian continued, "Just because I don't believe in it doesn't mean I don't respect it. You are insufferable. In fact, I kind of hope God _is_ real so that way when do you die, he can laugh in your face and send you downwards to join Hitler and Judas' tea party! Don't call me again, in fact, consider this my resignation you dick!"

Brian hung up the phone and threw it against the wall, he didn't care if it hit anything. It wouldn't have mattered if it did for he wouldn't be able to see it. The sound of a vase breaking and the shattering of a million pieces on the floor could be heard, the dog silently cursed to himself as he realized that all of the cleaning that he had done would have be done all over again and that Lois was going to be the one to have to do it, which was something that he couldn't necessarily live with.

Brian, his eyes going in and out of partial haze and full blindness, stood up and looked futility for the broken vase. When he found it in the corner of the room, just as his eyes went dark for a few seconds, he relied on memory to find the broom on the other side of the room, accidentally bumping into the coffee table and the reclining chair on the way. When his eyesight partially returned, Brian used the opportunity to make his way back towards the vase, by the time he got there his eyes were dark again. Slowly but surely he knew that he was slipping into permanent blindness, for each blackout brought with it some level of pain which only increased the longer the blackouts occurred. Brian knew that eventually the pain would disappear, once his eyes decided to stop fighting and simply give in, but until then, each movement, each new task, was a struggle.

In truth Brian should have called Hartman an hour before he did, for that was when the haziness really began, in the middle of his cleaning binge. He was ironing and folding clothes in the master bedroom when the first wave happened, forcing him to sit down on the bed. It lasted for about five minutes. The second wave was more severe, for it occurred as Brian was walking down the stairs carrying the vacuum, having just finished the three bedrooms. Brian did not bother stopping when he blacked out, instead he continued moving with the vacuum firmly in hand. He did not realize that the cord had come loose from the coil that he had wrapped earlier and so as a consequence, tripped over the cord and fell the rest of the way of the down, the vacuum landing on his back and slightly bruising it.

The only reason that Brian didn't bother calling anyone was out of fear. He did not want to believe that it was happening, everything he had was telling him that it was just a bad day, that he was sick. But Brian wasn't sick, he was as healthy as he could have been. The sad truth, the truth that he now accepted, was that Brian was going blind.

The turning of the tumblers in the front door caused Brian to turn around, for he still had a decent sense of direction. Hartman, who was standing at the door, could only sigh in pity as he saw Brian tremble in fear and confusion.

"I hope you don't mind me dropping in" Hartman said warmly, "But I couldn't help but worry."

Brian nodded in understanding, "Thanks for doing this for me Doc" he replied, "I know that I'm not exactly your usual patient but you're the only doctor I can trust."

Hartman smiled and slowly made his way over to Brian, leading him back to the couch.

"Now I don't do optics" Hartman continued as he sat down, "I told you that. But I have made some inquiries about your condition based on what you've told me and Dr. Mason seems pretty convinced."

Brian said nothing, he wanted to say something but his brain refused his heart to get in the way.

"Is there any chance of saving it?" Brian asked hopefully

Hartman shook his head, "The risk would be too great Brian. At this stage in the game, it would do more harm than good. I'm sorry but there's nothing to do but wait until your eyes stop fighting. Has the pain been any better?"

Brian laughed pitifully, for the question seemed pointless.

"It's only getting worse Hartman" Brian exclaimed, "I can feel them going. The blackouts are getting longer, the haziness is getting blurrier. I haven't seen anything normally since this morning and even then it was stressful."

Lois walked in the living room, back from her shopping trip. She was carrying three bags, one to Kohl's, another to Bed, Bath and Beyond, and one from Pet-Smart, a gift for Brian. It wasn't anything big or fancy, just a simple dog bed, but she hoped that it would be enough to show her appreciation.

The first thing Lois noticed when she walked in was how clean everything was. She didn't have a doubt in her mind as to who had done it, which gave her more justification for the dog bed than necessary. The second thing she noticed was Doctor Hartman, who upon her arrival, stood up as respectfully and straightly as possible.

"What's going on Brian?" Lois asked curiously, a bit of worry entering her voice, "Is something wrong?"

Hartman gestured to the nearest available seat. Lois nodded and took the armchair.

"Mrs. Griffin" Hartman began sternly, "This isn't exactly easy for either of us to say, least of all Brian. But given the circumstances I think it best that you know now."

This brought Lois no comfort and only seemed to make things worse. Hartman continued without interruption.

"Brian is, for all extensive purposes, legally blind."

Lois said nothing and only shook her head in disbelief. Brian, sensing this, only nodded in agreement.

"It's difficult to believe I know" Brian replied, "To be honest with you I don't know what to make of it either. I don't think it's quite settled in my brain that's it actually happening, but it is. I know it is."

Lois pulled out the dog bed and laid it out in the middle of the floor. Brian, hearing the sound of the bed hitting the floor, looked in its general direction. At that moment his vision returned as it was that morning, his eyes in extreme pain as they fought to retain what use they had. Brian laid his eyes on the dog bed and smiled, it was the biggest smile he ever had, and one that he needed to have.

"Is-is-that for me?" Brian said, tearing up at the prospect

Lois nodded, her smile almost as big as his was.

"Yes Brian" Lois answered, "It's for you. I know that we've been saying that we were going to get you a real bed but we just never had the money and-"

Brian cut her off with the slight raising of his hand.

"I could never ask you to do that" Brian declared, "Not for me. This. This is enough. More than enough. You have no idea what it means."

Brian cringed in pain as his eyes went dark once again. He waited a few seconds, hoping that the haziness would return. After a minute had passed, and then two, and then five, and eventually ten Brian knew that it was over.

"Hartman" Brian said softly, "Hartman I think, I think they're done."

Hartman sighed, in a way he wished that things were different, he wished that surgery was possible. But in another way he was glad that Brian had lost his sight for it only meant that he would have to learn to see the world in other ways, for the moment Hartman took solace in that.

Since there was nothing for him to do, Hartman stood up and showed his way out. Just as he reached the door he turned around back to Lois.

"I'll be in touch Mrs. Griffin" Hartman exclaimed, "If he needs anything send him to me I'll look at him."

"What about the shock?" Lois asked curiously, "Surely he can't be taking this as well as he is."

Brian shook his head pitifully, for Lois was talking as if he wasn't even in the room. He wanted to be insulted but he knew that he didn't have the right.

"That's because I'm not" Brian replied, "I'm just….really good at hiding it is all…Don't worry about me. If it's depression you want, you'll have it soon enough."

Lois rolled her eyes, for obliviously Brian was taking her words rather harshly. Hartman laughed subtly at this.

"Just try to carry on the best that you can" Hartman advised, "And please remember above all else. Brian's blind, not dead. He's still very much alive and he needs to continue living in the best way that he can. Nothing will really change expect-"

"Expect the fact that I can't see" Brian butted in, "I'd say that's a major change isn't it? I mean this is the rest of my life that we're talking about here."

Hartman nodded in turn, "And you will live it as normally as anyone else" he concluded, "Now I'm sorry to have to leave so hurriedly but I must be getting back. If you need me I shall be at my office."

Without another word Hartman closed the door, leaving Brian and Lois alone once again.

Silence filled the air, for several minutes all that existed was the sound of lungs filling up with air. Eventually Brian, too tired to continue, stood up and moved towards the dog bed to the best of his ability, curling himself up in as tight a ball as he could manage.

"What about the others Brian?" Lois asked after he was settled, "What about Peter and the kids? Surely they'll want to know."

Brian nodded, "Of course they will" he replied, a little overdramatically as tears ran down his face, "But if anyone's going to tell them it's me. It has to be me Lois."

Lois sighed, it was bad enough that Brian had to deal with being blind, in her mind, it would be cruel for him to face the confusion that Peter, Stewie, Chris and Meg would ultimately bring.

"Are you sure?" Lois began, "Because I can tell them if you want."

Brian shook his head, his resolve as clear and firm as it was when he gave her his car.

"It's my eyes Lois" Brian defended, "It's my life. I should be the one to tell them. I have to. Not just for them, but for me too. The sooner I accept it, the easier it will be for everyone. Now please, leave me alone, I need to grieve my own way."

Lois nodded in understanding and rose from her seat. Looking around the room, she couldn't help but notice the attention to detail that Brian took in cleaning, in a strange way it almost made her jealous, but it wasn't the kind of jealousy to do anything about, especially with the given circumstances. Lois leaned down and gently kissed Brian's forehead, at the same petting his back before entering the kitchen to begin cooking for dinner. By the time she got to the oven however, she was surprised to find that it was already cooked.


	2. Chapter 2

Peter walked in the living room, he was followed by Chris, Meg and Stewie, who Peter had to pick from school due to one of the buses having broken down on the side of the road. Peter wasn't exactly happy about picking his kids up from the side of the road, not because they were on the side of the road, but because he had to go twenty minutes out of his way to do it.

As soon as Peter walked through the door his eyes searched for Brian, for normally if anyone had to pick up anyone from school, the duty fell to him. When he found him, sleeping comfortably in his dog bed, Peter made his way over and did the only thing he could think of doing. Picking up the bed as carefully as he could, Peter turned it over, causing Brian to fall to the floor, waking up on the way down, landing on his back in minor pain. Throwing the bed in the corner of the room, not really caring what happened to it, Peter leaned down in Brian's face.

"Where the hell were you?" he asked, practically shouting, "You're on picking up kid duty Brian, not me! I just drove twenty minutes out of my way to pick the bastards up off the side of the road."

Brian, dazed from having been so rudely awakened, only heard the last part of Peter's statement. Lacking context and knowledge of the situation, Brian slowly stood up and faced Peter, for despite his blindness his presence was unmistakable.

"How dare you say that about your own children?" Brian retorted, "You should be ashamed of yourself Peter. I don't care how out of the way it is, if my kids are on the side of the fucking road, I'd be there in ten seconds flat."

Peter huffed and shook his head, he was in no mood to be chastised, by his dog of all things, about his parenting. To be fair to Peter, he wasn't thinking straight to begin with, his mind was occupied, perhaps for the first time in his life, on his job, which was currently being threatened by Angela, his boss. Peter was several weeks behind on his quota, if he didn't pull the weight, which was significant, the chances of him being fired from the brewery were relatively strong.

Stewie, who couldn't help but listen in on the conversation, walked over to Brian and gently tugged on the dog's leg, causing him to look down, his eyes weak, trying desperately to make connections that were no longer there. Brian immediately went to his natural instinct and simply smiled as warmly as he possibly could, in his head he imagined what Stewie looked like and hoped that the smile was appropriate.

"What are you smiling at?" Stewie asked, put off for a moment at the uncomfortableness, causing Brian to lose it instantaneously.

"Nothing" Brian answered, "Was there something you needed?"

Stewie nodded and pointed towards the dog bed, Brian only continued to stare at Stewie, obviously unable to follow his arm towards the bed. Peter meanwhile, only sat on the couch and began watching TV, having become uninterested in Brian and deciding to channel his emotion by yelling at Tom Tucker for no reason.

"Why don't you go to hell Tucker?" Peter exclaimed as loudly as he possibly could, "We don't need you telling us what's news and what isn't news!"

Stewie rolled his eyes annoyingly and walked over to the dog bed, which was resting on its side by the staircase.

"Where'd this come from?" Stewie asked curiously

Brian, who had regained his orientation thanks to the TV, followed Stewie's voice to the stairs and turned in that direction. When hearing the question, Brian could only smile and glance towards the kitchen.

"Lois gave it to me" he answered, "She didn't really give a reason as to why other than that she thought I needed one, that's more than enough for me."

Stewie nodded slowly, as if he was trying to piece together the events of Brian's day, at the same time he was waiting for elaboration on Brian's day. When Brian didn't answer, Stewie gave up and headed upstairs to his room to plan his latest experiments and another matricide scheme.

_"Some things never change"_ Brian thought to himself, _"Maybe that's for the better."_

Slowly and carefully Brian retreated down on all fours, to better acquaint himself with the situation and to break as little as possible, as he walked over to the dog bed, flipped it over and dragged it back to what he assumed was its original position. In reality, he was directly in the middle of the small walkway between the wall and the couch.

Lois emerged from the kitchen, in her hands was the evening meal, meatloaf. Why she decided to carry it out to the living room for everyone to see only she knew. Brian, who already knew what it was, mostly because he made it, didn't even bother lifting his head.

"Kids" Lois called, "Dinner's ready!"

Lois then turned to Peter, her voice a little louder than before to combat his yelling and the TV.

"Peter!" she exclaimed, "Wanna help me with dinner?"

Peter stood up just as Meg and Chris came downstairs, Stewie however, ran past them, carrying a strange ray gun of some sort.

"Die bitch!" Stewie declared as soon as he reached the living room floor, running towards her, accidently brushing against Peter, who was also moving towards Lois and subsequently Brian, who was directly in the middle of the walkway, trying to mind his own business and get what sleep he could.

Just as Stewie made contact with Peter, the Fat-Man stumbled, tripping over Brian, which caused Lois to gasp, Brian to lift his head in curiosity and for Stewie to stop in his tracks. Lois was unfortunately holding the meatloaf low enough to allow Peter's face to land directly in the middle of it.

"You okay Brian?" Lois asked as she tried to hold Peter up.

Peter groaned at this, for he expected Lois to be immediately concerned for him, in his mind Brian was secondary-and he still technically was.

"You can't be serious" Peter said through the meatloaf, unintentionally getting saliva in an already ruined dish, "You're worried about the dog!"

Lois nodded as Meg appeared from the kitchen with a dish towel. As Peter wiped his face clean, Brian could only hang his head in despair, blaming himself, mostly blaming his eyes, for the incident. In his head he told himself that it wasn't his fault that Peter should have been more careful in his surroundings, but his heart was saying something else. His heart was saying that Peter's face was covered in meatloaf because he moved the dog bed from the stairs and he moved the dog bed from the stairs because Peter threw it there out of anger, not because he didn't pick up the kids, but because he was blind.

"I'm sorry" Brian exclaimed, trying his best at an apology as he fought salty tears, "I guess I just-"

"No" Peter replied, cutting him off, "You didn't. What the hell were you thinking Brian? Moving that goddamn bed in the middle of the floor, that's just asking for someone to get hurt."

Brian found it ironic and almost hypocritical that Peter would be preaching safety to him, for normally it was the reverse, he remained silent lest he risk angering him further.

"Are you blind or something?" Peter continued.

Brian said nothing, even though Peter had just given him an opportunity to both shut him up and to explain his situation he did not take it, for this was not how he wanted it go, surrounded and preceded with hateful words and uncomfortable feelings.

Lois, at hearing Brian's silence, also said nothing, keeping her promise and letting Brian decide when to reveal his condition.

"Don't worry about it" Brian said gently to Lois, who looked around the room distraught, having no idea as to what she was going to do for dinner, "There's some tilapia in the fridge. Already made, just heat it up to 350 degrees for twenty minutes and serve."

Lois shook her head, for she saw the tilapia that Brian was referring to, there was no way that it would enough to accommodate the six of them.

"Or we can order pizza" Lois suggested, "How does that sound?"

Peter shrugged, he didn't care what they had to eat as long as they had something. As he tossed the rag in Brian's face, the meatloaf side landing on the dog's snout, Peter grumbled to himself, this perhaps being the worst day in his life, right behind the day Brian came into the family, which always seemed to take the top spot regardless.

"Do you hate me Peter?" Brian asked as he removed the rag, "What have I ever done to you except support you? I've given you everything that I can give- money when you needed it, drives home from the bar, I even offered up my kidneys for you. As for your family, well you don't have to worry about getting a second car because Lois has mine and I'm not going to take it back. I can't take it back. And Stewie? Don't even get me started on him-"

Peter stopped listening at this point, for Brian was no doubt going to chastise him on his parenting abilities, which was funny considering Brian's own failures with Dylan.

"Well you shut up for two seconds?" Peter whined, "I can't even get two words out before I get corrected. Who the hell do you think you are, telling me about my parenting? Who made you the prefect parent? Where's that kid of yours that you never bother to see, where's he at?"

Brian huffed, for he knew exactly where Dylan was, California, visiting Jasper, not that he cared anyway, for Dylan was well out of his life, a complete independent.

"Why are we talking about me?" Brian asked curiously, "What makes me so important all of the sudden? I'm just the dog Peter, that's all I am. Let's talk about you for a second…What's got you so worked up that you're taking everything out on us?"

Peter said nothing and only made his way upstairs. Meg and Lois looked after him, confused as to what had happened. Stewie meanwhile, could only look at Brian, the dog keeping his eyes where they were and showing no sign that Peter was gone.

"Is something wrong Brian?" Stewie said worriedly, "You look, different."

Brian shook his head and sniffed the air around him, trying to reorient himself. He accidentally bumped into the dog bed, in a sudden burst of confusion, anger and despair, Brian picked it up and threw it in whatever direction he could. Brian could hear the bed land safely in the armchair.

Chris could be heard in the next room ordering the pizza. Meg and Stewie could only look at Brian, the former moving towards the dog bed and sitting it down in its original place and the latter leading Brian to it, bidding him rest. It was almost as if they knew and either didn't want to believe it or they did and kept their silence in spite of it. Whatever the case, both brother and sister petted Brian's back before turning to the couch and the TV, turning off Tucker and switching it to _Horsin' Around_. Lois meanwhile, returned to the kitchen and began to scrape the meatloaf in the garbage, but not before giving herself a taste. It was the best meatloaf she ever had.

**Note:** _Horsin' Around _is a reference to BoJack Horseman, a Netflix original in the same vein as Family Guy. Definitely worth checking out.


	3. Chapter 3

Later that night a subtle barrage of tears could be heard throughout the house. Lois didn't have to guess to know who it was. Grabbing a flashlight from her bedside dresser, Lois made her way downstairs to the living room, where she found Brian, sitting on the floor crying his eyes out and singing the saddest song he could think of at the moment- Billy Joel's And So It Goes. The song didn't fit the situation, Brian knew, but he didn't really care, he just needed to cry and he needed something to disguise it so he sang.

Lois moved over to Brian, who only continued to sing and cry. The living room window blind were open, letting in the light of low moon, for the night was young and still. For the first time in a long time Lois noticed Brian's voice and how reminiscent it was, both in style and in the fact it sounded, or at least sort of sounded, like Frank Sinatra. She personally didn't like that kind of music, her tastes were more modern; she understood why Brian did, for in many ways the past were better days gone by.

Brian stopped singing as if he knew Lois was in the room. He could smell her lack of perfume, her sweat because she hadn't bothered to take a shower that day. It was so vivid that for a moment he thought about opening his eyes, for they were closed, and he thought about seeing what she would look like. He often fantasized about Lois in many different situations but this was one that he liked best, when she was in her nightgown getting ready to go to bed. It was not sexual in nature, at least not overtly. In Brian's mind this was the real Lois, the one that no one got to see- when her hair was frizzled from a long day of working; her makeup, what little she wore, off, face fully exposed; her figure not as young as it used to be but still bearing the youthfulness of twenty something despite nearing her forties, the beginning of an in between phase of life. All of this Brian thought about before even thinking of carnal, sensuous things, although to deny that he thought them would be denying what humanity he allowed himself to have.

"What are you doing up?" Brian said, his voice soft and hurt, "Shouldn't you be in bed? It's what…10:30?"

Lois shrugged for she didn't know the time and she didn't care. Right now, she was thinking about sleep. Lois sat down on the floor, in front of the dog, at the same time allowing him to take in all the scents that allowed him to see the real Lois.

"You were crying" Lois answered, "What's wrong?"

Brian huffed as if the answer was obvious and it was. Perhaps Lois needed to hear it from Brian's point of view, when he was most vulnerable. Brian ignored the question for the time being, the only thing he did was casually place his paw, for now he considered himself a dog, on Lois' knee.

"I'm going to ask you something" Brian replied, "It's wrong and I already know the answer, but sometimes I need to hear it again."

Lois shook her head and leaned in, kissing Brian as passionately as she could where such forms of affection are supposed to be given. When she broke away he didn't even have to ask the question, for he knew the answer. Joy and pain went through his body all at once, joy for himself and the love he knew was finally requited and pain for Peter, who didn't do anything to deserve what he was about to receive.

"What does this mean?" Brian asked, hoping for a reply, an overwhelming concern laden in his voice.

"I don't know" Lois continued, "Maybe nothing. But maybe something."

The only thing they allowed themselves to do was embrace, their hearts however, wanted so much more. Both of them cried, for they knew, down in their cores, that what they were doing was against all morals, if they had any to begin with, and against everything that they knew themselves to be. Lois thought that she would be faithful to her husband until the day she died and forever after. But she never really was, even in the best of times when she had every reason to be she was everything but faithful. Brian believed that his life had two outcomes, overwhelming happiness or crushing sadness; overwhelming happiness in the event that he found someone, crushing sadness if he ended up alone. Day by day he saw crushing sadness beating overwhelming happiness by leaps and bounds. Tonight, for the first time in a long time, overwhelming happiness seemed to have a chance, his only regret was that Peter had to suffer for it.

They broke away, Brian wiping his eyes and smiling at the same time. His ears raised a bit like they did that morning, when nothing mattered and everything was okay. Now, everything mattered and despite what they wanted to believe, for the moment at least, nothing was okay, it seemed that it never would be.

"Pray for me" Brian said softly, not really sure what he was saying.

Lois raised her eyebrows, confused by the request.

"I thought that you didn't believe?" Lois exclaimed.

"I don't" Brian explained, "Sometimes I think it's nice to pretend…that someone else who is said to have created everything takes a little time to care about someone like me."

Brian stopped, he couldn't but laugh the more he thought about it.

"I don't know what's out there" Brian continued, "I don't want to know and I don't care. But I've seen things. I've seen what that kind of faith does to people and I think it's a beautiful thing."

Lois wanted to say something but didn't, for she knew that getting into such a conversation would ruin whatever moment existed. It was best to simply let Brian have the floor, to take what he would out of this conversation. To Lois Brian wasn't talking to her, he was talking to the One Who Cannot Be Seen, the Playwright of the Universe.

"I have said things I do not believe in for the sake of other people." Brian continued, "I cannot tell you how many times I have said Amen, how many times I have said Hallelujah not for my sake but for the father and husband waiting for news of his wife who asked it of me. That and it gives me a boost in the comforting department something that I'm not really good at. Isn't that the saddest thing you ever heard? A dog who can't so much as be comforting. It's pathetic and it only shows how much of a failure I really am."

Lois knew that Brian, for in those situations she knew that he was the best person to talk to, for he had experienced pain in almost all degrees. But despite this, even if he didn't suffer as he did, Lois knew that Brian mattered a great deal, for he always seemed to be there, even for people he didn't necessarily know or had little in common with. As for the failure of being a dog, Lois had a stake against that too, for she saw how Brian took care of Stewie and to a lesser extent Chris and Meg. She knew how much he loved them and she knew that if it ever came down to it, his bullet taking promise from earlier would ring true every time. There wasn't a doubt in her mind that Brian was a success, whoever he ended up with would the luckiest person in the world.

All of these thoughts culminated to Lois' next response, subtly thrown out the window in favor of directness and honesty.

"Kiss me" Lois said, her voice shaking at the thought. Even if she were denied it would calm the fire that had slowly been burning in her heart since morning. It would be an official release, one that was mutual and different from the kiss minutes before. It would not be based on passion alone, but love.

"I can't" Brian said, going against every urge he had to comply, "You know what it would do to Peter. To Chris and Meg and Stewie. It would crush them Lois, I can't do that. No matter how much I love you, they come first, they always have, they always will."

Five seconds later Brian broke his promise, heading down a road he knew he would never be able to go back on. Lois thought nothing of it when she found herself undoing her nightgown. All of their fears from earlier came back stronger than before causing them to stop. No thing had been done. The moment came and went like a flash of lightning, coincidentally outside it had begun to rain as clouds slowly formed overhead, masking the radiant moonlight.

"What are we doing Brian?" Lois asked helplessly, more confused than ever before.

"Do you remember when Peter was lost at sea?" Brian answered, asking a question of his own, "Do you remember what we felt? How sad everyone was. How lost we were."

Lois nodded, for she did remember, she remembered everything about the incident including a few things she wanted to forget.

"I do" Lois replied, her voice soft and calming, the dog was beginning to tear up, "I remember it like it was yesterday."

Brian nodded and wiped his eyes, secretly damning himself, wanting nothing more than to take his useless eyes out of his head. It would be painful, but like the smiles of those he had prayed for, it would worth it if it meant getting rid of the memory and the false hope.

"It was out of pity and security that you did what you did" Brian exclaimed, redirecting his feelings to the past in hope that it would make him better. It wasn't working.

"For nine months I called you my wife" Brian continued, "You never called me your husband. It wasn't for love. It was security. The minute Peter came back you crawled right back in his arms and I didn't blame you for it. Because it wasn't for love. This, this thing right here, is not love. It is desire. Unfulfilled and constantly yearning for things that it wasn't meant to have."

Lois shook her head, not wanting to believe Brian's words despite what truth they had.

"How can you say that?" Lois asked, emotional hurt beyond recognition, "How can you say that I can't have what I deserve."

"Because it doesn't happen to people like us Lois" Brian explained, his voice harsher than it should have been, "People who seek things they already have. But the things they have aren't the things they want. People like us don't seek intimacy. We don't make memories, for we live always in the present. The past is the past and the future can wait."

Brian stopped, the last thing he wanted to do was hurt Lois. In an attempt to lighten up the mood, if it could still be saved, Brian went back to being a dog.

Lois watched as Brian preformed the Art of Begging.

The Art of Begging is a routine that is known throughout all canine kind. It is a combination of rolls, yapping and annoying cuteness depending on the breed. It works best with small to medium sized dogs, fortunately in Brian's case he was of the medium size and as a result, did not have to compensate and pretend to be smaller.

It begins with the dog circling around as if it were chasing its own tail. After two revolutions the dog gets on its hind legs and barks or yaps depending on the situation. Due to the fact that it was nighttime Brian went with the higher and quieter yap. This is usually the time when the targets, for it is always done in the presence of humans, throw out food. If this fails, the dog continues by flopping its ears side to side, twice for each ear. When this is done, it gets on its back and rolls, making sure to land stomach up after each stop to maximize the chance of tummy rubbing. On occasion, depending on how desperate the animal was, the dog would raise its head, looking at the target with the biggest eyes it could possibly make, sometimes to the point where one would think that they were going to pop out of the head. Brian skipped this part of the routine, unable to stand the pain that would follow if he failed to look directly at Lois.

The routine finished, Brian rolled himself over, immediately finding himself in Lois' arms, Lois having reached out and grabbed him as soon as he righted himself.

"Thank you" Lois whispered as she kissed Brian's forehead

"Don't thank me" Brian answered nonchalantly, "It's in the job description."

Lois didn't need to ask what job it was that Brian held, for she already knew the answer. Brian was thankful that he didn't need to explain, for it only made his heart warmer, his laugh that he kept inside lighter, happier.

"Promise me one thing Lois" Brian said after a few minutes of silence, "If it ever gets to a point where I can't-"

Brian stopped, after a few seconds to recollect his thoughts he spoke again.

"I don't want anyone to suffer because of me. When that day comes, and it will come, it would mean so much to me if you were to push down on the syringe. I want all of you to be there, even Stewie. Especially Stewie…"

Lois stood up bringing Brian with her, he was heavy, granted he wasn't as young he used to be but it was still heavy enough to where it was noticeable.

"That's a long ways away Brian" Lois continued as she made her way upstairs, "The future can wait."


End file.
